To be 60

I arrived home late last night from Phuket. It was good to be back after being away for five days for non-work related activities. I think I am ready for the busy weeks ahead. The time-off was enjoyable while it lasted. So here are some pictures from my trip.


The view is from the balcony of the apartment we were staying at. The right one was taken after my one-hour pampering massage!

Anyway, today is my mom's 60th birthday! I am thankful to God that she came to know Christ eight years ago and has been a faithful follower since. She is an amazing woman and truly an instrument of God - even way before she is Christian. It was her, 30 years ago, who suggested my aunt bring me along to church (Sunday School) where the seed of the gospel was sown (and harvested years later). Today, she's a prayer warrior and an evangelist. A woman of quiet perseverance and strength.

Anyhow, my sister is in town again for the Great Singapore Sale - just in time to beat the 2% increase of GST. Tomorrow, the new tax rate of 7% kicks in! Ahh... we love Singapore!

Writing from Phuket

As I am writing this, I am sitting in the hotel lobby of the resort I am staying at in Phuket. I arrived here on Monday morning to be greeted by our two friends who offered to share their space with me. This is my first visit to this renowned Thai vacation island. The weather has been pleasant with short and light intermittent showers throughout the day. Since the resort is close by the beach, it is also wonderfully breezy.

So far, I have spent much of my time reading and sleeping - incredibly relaxing. Yesterday we took a cab out to the island's city centre to get food. During the drive there, we made conversation with the cab driver. The conversation quickly turned to the tsunami of December 2004. I casually asked the driver if his family was affected (when I really was expecting a "No" response). Sadly, he replied that he lost his baby and his son in the tragic incident. I immediately said that I was sorry. But beyond that, I found myself at a loss for the right words (not just because of the fact that he did not speak much English but because I simply didn't know if anything I said would ease his pain). Soon we found ourselves in an awkward silence. Fortunately, one of my friends quickly diverted the conversation to something else.

The encounter reminds me again of how often we are in contact with people who have experienced or are experiencing some kind of suffering. However, we are frequently too busy or caught up with our own "life" to hear such subtle cries. Or, we try to avoid connecting on that level as we find oursleves unable to emphatize with the other party. I am for one guilty of such wrongdoing! However, I know that I have come some way from before but I continually pray that God will teach me to feel comfortable with other peoples' pain and to respond appropriately in love and wisdom. May God help us!

Avoid suffering at ALL costs!

I (I'Ching) was having a lunch meeting with a few fellas when the topic of abortion came up. We were discussing how there is a general lack of moral reflection on the issue where Christians merely assert that abortion is wrong as the bible says so; or that it is murder, and that's that. But as we all know from real-life experience, such a statement is insufficient as an evidence to support that abortion is wrong - it is merely an assertion, not a valid argument. Besides, nowhere in the bible does it state that abortion per se is wrong or immoral. The conclusion that abortion is wrong comes more from a reflection on what the bible teaches about the human person and when does a human life begin - at conception or at another point of the fetus's life in the mother's womb.

I will not get into the details of the reflection and its conclusion here but if any of you are interested, email me and I will send you a paper I presented last year at a public forum on abortion in Singapore. Suffice to say here that I believe that human life begins at conception and that the fetus is already a human person right from that point. This means, regardless of the "good" reasons for abortion or the time when it is performed, the termination of the life of the fetus is murder of a human being.

So, back to the meeting with my friends. One of them continued to state that he believes abortion is wrong but he still "personally feels" that he would allow for abortion for rape victims. He cited the shame and emotional anguish of the woman as too much suffering for a rape victim to endure. Now, I was surprised to hear such reasoning coming from this friend. So, without cutting him off in mid-sentence, I let him finish what he was saying and then cautiously state my view. I informed him that many reliable surveys have shown that aborting the baby does little to alleviate the pain and suffering of the rape victim. In fact, in most cases, victims who have undergone abortion feel even more anguish as not only do they bear the shame and pain of the crime, they now bear the guilt of terminating the life of one who shares a unique bond with her even though the unborn may "remind" her of the traumatic experience. I also added that the emotional response such as my friend's is understandable. However, if we believe that the unborn is a human being right from the point of conception, abortion is the murder of another human being regardless of the reasons for it.

My friend's view, it seems, was one that is motivated merely by pragmatic reasons i.e. the well-being of the woman. While I am not trivializing the pain and suffering of a rape victim, but authentic compassion would not eliminate the life of another as a means to alleviate suffering itself. If we go along the pragmatic line of argument, does it mean that it is okay for one to terminate the life of his or her child if the child shames him or her or bring much emotional (or even physical) suffering to them? I have heard of parents who have adult kids who borrow much money from illegal loan sharks and gone into hiding and the parents have to bear the violent threats of the loan sharks! Does this kind of suffering justify the murder of one's child? Surely not!

Besides, the unborn baby is just as much of a victim as the mother herself. Should another crime (of abortion) be committed to alleviate the suffering of the rape victim? As Christians, we are always called toward compassion for the sick, the aged, the victimized and the unborn. It calls us to strive to alleviate suffering, BUT always with respect for the inviolable sanctity of ALL human life.

It is understandable for those who have not had an encounter with Christ, the one acquainted with sorrow and suffering, to view suffering as the ultimate evil and hence the relief of suffering seen as the greatest good. Under such a view, suffering is deemed to be meaningless and to be avoided at all costs and by all means. However, I think as Christians, we must be able to see the redemptive quality in suffering and strive to live counter the "culture of death" that is so prevalent and popular in our social spheres. Much can be said about this but I have gone on too long...

Good food, good company

We are back from our weekend retreat in Pulai Springs Malaysia! Pulai Springs is a mere 45- minute drive from Singapore and just on the outskirts of Johor Bahru. The resort where we stayed at was very new and hence nice. Though we paid for a studio room, we were upgraded to one with a bedroom and living area. Since we were there for only two nights, we didn't have much use for the living area.

Let's see, what did we do on our cell-group retreat? Well, eating and sleeping, I guess, would sum up the highlights of our time. On the first night, one of our fellows took us to a Chinese coffee-shop style place where they serve up Chinese dishes with rice. The food was fabulous! And most importantly, when the check came, it was CHEEEEAP!!! Do I sound Singaporean enough, yet? Nonetheless, it was still slightly cheaper than what one could get in Kuala Lumpur... It was pretty much the same deal throughout our stay in JB where we were fed to the rim, rolled into bed for a nap and then off to gorge ourselves again! I can see why and how gluttony can be a sin!

It is always nice to see how Brian enjoys the local fare. Other members of the group had no idea how climatized Brian is to the local taste as, with every meal, they would ask if he's "ok" with the food. I reminded them that Brian survived Chennai! Though in my heart I was actually thinking how he is more adventurous about trying new things than most locals.

As the year progresses, I find my calender filling up fast with speaking engagements and projects. Some of these would involve traveling, too. One project coming up that I'm excited about is conducting some training sessions for Campus Crusade Singapore staff. The sessions will evolve around the theme of sexuality. I'm looking forward to them as sexuality and identity are definitely some issues I've been thinking a lot about in the last two years. I'm glad I'll have the opportunity to research deeper into the area and teach on it.

Since I took Monday and Tuesday off from work for our retreat, my work-week is a short one. Next week, (and I am almost embarrassed to say this!) I am off again for 5 days to Phuket (an island in Thailand on the Andaman Sea). A couple of friends invited us to join them at their time-share vacation apartment at a resort there. We don't need to pay for anything except our flight there. Since I have miles I can redeem, I was able to get a free flight there, too. Unfortunately, Brian will not be joining us as he was not able to get time off work. So, I plan to make the 5 days a "personal retreat." I plan to catch up on my reading, writing, sleep and excercise. Looking forward to some good Thai food, too!

Counting down

It is Thursday today and in a few more days, we will be going to Malaysia for our church's small group retreat. I am so looking forward to it as I am very tired from my recent travels and work. Over the three days of the retreat, I plan to sleep and not do much! Meanwhile, as I count down to my chill-time, I have to prepare to teach a session on Postmodernism on Sunday to a group of 50 young adults at a church in Singapore.

Last weekend, as I've mentioned, we had guests from Malaysia and the US. My sister and a friend came down for the annual Great Singapore Sale (trust me, the sales are GOOD!) It was literally a shopping trip for them as they did nothing but shopped. Our other friend is a classmate from BIOLA. She was enroute to visit her friends in Korea. Since she's a savvy shopper as well, she ended up shopping during most of her three days here. It was nice to see her after more than two years (we graduated from Graduate school at the same time). But at the end of each day, my legs were sore from all the walking. Brian had it easy as he would disappear to Starbucks and read and would only join us for meals.

As we combed through the stores in search of "good deals", I was reminded of GK Chesterton's remark: “There are two ways to get enough: one is to continue to accumulate more and more. The other is to desire less.” How aptly said! However, the consumeristic culture is driving us in the exact opposite direction promising us more than it can deliver.

Anyhoo... it was wonderful to have guests and friends visit but when they finally left, it was also very nice for Brian and I to have our time and space back. Unfortunately, since I've been catching up on work, we've not savored our space as much as we'd love to, like, having cheese and crackers, pita and hummus, chips and dips to a good movie in the evening...

Beat the traffic jam

The whole of last week was spent in Jakarta where my colleagues and I taught at the Universitas Pelita Harapan or UPH (Light of Hope University) on Monday and then spent the rest of the week in conference with the rest of my global colleagues. Teaching at UPH was quite an experience other than the fact that I taught on Moral Relativism in Bahasa Melayu to a class of 50 Indonesian students (the difference between Bahasa Indonesia and Bahasa Melayu/Malaysia is like Swiss German and German German).

Many who have traveled to Jakarta would know that the city traffic is really bad during rush hour. Since our meeting with the students was to start around 8:30 am, the administration of the college decided that the easiest and fastest way to get us from our hotel to the campus was by flying us in on a chopper! So, promptly at 7:45 am, we went up to the roof of the hotel where the helipad is and was taken on a ride with an aerial view of Jakarta. It was really interesting to see the city from that perspective. While it was not my first time on a helicopter, it was still pretty cool. The flight was only almost 7 minute long (the car-ride back took us almost an hour!!!).

The students I interacted with were a delight - so well behaved and sweet. And they were so patient with my struggle with the Malay language. It was indeed a special experience.

Other than having to attend meetings, I also managed to squeeze in some shopping. Our boss organized for the team to go to Mangga Dua - a swap meet/bazaar kind of place that sells almost everything under the sun. Great place to find quality replica of designer bags, watches and pens. As someone once remarked, it's the place to find original fakes (as opposed to fake fakes!!!)

After spending a week in Jakarta, I was more than ready to head home to my poor husband who was coming down with a cold. As soon as I got home, I had to get the house ready for some guests from KL and LA. More of this in my next post as it IS getting late and I am EXHAUSTED!