Craig's got mail!

Yes, more about Craig! Another first this week - first official letter. He received his social security card in the mail a few days ago. 

On Tuesday, too, he had his sixth week vaccinations  - our brave little boy took 2 jabs and an orally administered vaccine in stride. He merely let out a short-lived cry when he was given the injections and soon stopped when we soothed him. He got a little feverish in the evening, as expected, but nothing a little infant paracetamol won't ease! While at the doctor's we also weighed him - he's 4.2 kgs (9.24 lbs) heavy and has grown 4 cms to 55 cms now (that's 21.6 inches).

Meet the parents

After waiting for more than 5 weeks, my parents in Malaysia finally got to meet Craig (aka Chan Ka Hey). This means, Craig flew (to Kuala Lumpur) and took a long car trip (2-hour ride to Ipoh from Kuala Lumpur) for the first time. For the flight, we were prepared for the inevitable cry during ascent and descent but he did great - slept through on both flights (return). Another milestone is that he's gotten the first stamp on his passport!

In his baby seatbelt: Tied to mommy again!

Needless to say, both PohPoh and GungGung were delighted to meet him. He also met his Aunt IY and his other relatives in Ipoh.  Taking him out of his routine was a challenge though. He hardly napped during the day (over-stimulated) and fussed and cried more than he usually does. Though we've been home for almost 4 days now, he's still out of his character where he wakes up from his day naps so easily - so unlike the easygoing Craig we know before Ipoh! Someone commented that there's no such thing as "out of character" for a growing baby as they change all the time and hence impossible to predict. I'm learning this difficult truth the hard way!

1) GungGung's pride and joy!

2) PohPoh with grimacing fussy boy

A month already?

Craig turned a month-old last Tuesday. True to the Chinese tradition of celebrating a baby's "full-moon", we took him to church with us the first time and introduced him to the many friends who never got a chance to see him at the hospital when he was born. 

We are grateful to friends, J and K, for arranging the cakes and other light snacks for the mini-party after church service. They even took the trouble to make some red-colored eggs for the occasion (click here to learn more about this practice).

As expected, Craig was greeted by many ooh's and ahh's though he slept peacefully through the whole affair. He is now officially the youngest person to attend our church!

New luxuries

We've survived the first three weeks as parents to a newborn on our own! As my delivery date was drawing close last month, many well-meaning friends were trying to convince us that we WILL need a Confinement Lady (a Chinese version of a postpartum doula)  to help in the first month. While having help would be great, it is extremely costly to hire one in Singapore. Other than the fact that I'm not comfortable having a stranger stay with us for a month, I know the many constraints the Confinement Lady would place on me (like the need to refrain from showering for a month and not leaving the house for a whole month) would drive me insane. So we decided that we'll stick it out and see what happens. 

Craig having daddy-time:

We're pleased to announce that we are coping alright so far. Other than the expected struggle with breast feeding (I can almost write a book on what breast feeding has taught me about prayer!), we are so far merely plagued by sleep deprivation, and for Brian, by my frustrating demands and unreal expectations fueled by my Postpartum blues. Of course, we are also discovering that favorite past times like an episode of Star Trek, blogging or even checking emails are becoming new luxuries. Faced with the option of either a nap or replying emails, you can guess which wins hands down. Hence, this entry will have to be brief...  

Race: ?

Last Tuesday, a week after Craig's birth, we took him to his first appointment with his pediatrician. While we were filling in his details to register him at the reception, we found ourselves uncertain about one of the particulars - "Race: ....... " Hmm... I thought, he's not ethnically Chinese nor is he white. He's half-and-half. And I'm not sure what that would be. AmeriAsian? EurAsian? AmeriMalaysian? The receptionist told us to leave that space blank.

Brian encountered the same problem when he was applying for Craig's passport online a few days later. In the drop-down menu of "Race," there was none that aptly represents Craig's "race." (And I thought in today's political correct world, it would be rude to ask about one's race!). So, Brian opted for "Others." Poor boy - his race is Others. Talk about a "misfit"! But with a face like his, I'm sure fitting in would not be a problem! (And yes, all moms think their kids are the best looking!)

Craig's favorite sleep pose:

In a few days' his passport would be ready and he'd be ready to go to Malaysia to visit his PohPoh (and KungKung - Cantonese for maternal Grandfather) who is anxiously waiting to meet the little chap.

Craig's passport pix which looks too cute!

The mystery of death and the miracle of life

There are good reasons for our missing in action in the blogosphere. The last three weeks had been most eventful – mostly tearful for very diverse reasons. I, I’Ching, shall recount them chronologically.

“O death, where is your sting?”

Sometime last year, I gave a talk on death and mortality from a biblical worldview. In my talk, I contended that since death is the most certain thing in life and how it does not discriminate against gender, age nor race, we should embrace our death instead of resisting it when our turn is up.

On the third day of Chinese New Year, just as I returned home from work, we received a phone call from family in Ipoh, Malaysia, that my maternal grandmother had died unexpectedly. My aunt (my mother’s sister) found her lifeless body sprawled in her bathroom. It had only been a few hours before that she was sent home after spending a few days at my mom’s for the New Year celebration (she insisted on living alone after her stroke and surgery last April).

PohPoh (Grandma in Chinese Hakka dialect) holds a special place in my life as I spent my first few years with her. My parents had to leave me with her while they worked in a different city. So, in some ways, she was my “mom.” Throughout my adult life, she would always remind me of how I cried and cried for her when I finally had to return to my parents as I was starting first grade. This is only one of my many childhood stories that she would tell me over and over again. I will miss them…

But what was most heartbreaking for me was that I could not travel the hundreds of miles to bid my last goodbye to her due to my advanced stage of pregnancy. So, I had to mourn from a distance – calling family members every hour for an update. On January 30, 2009, my beloved PohPoh was buried at a Christian cemetery near Ipoh.

While I still believe that we should embrace death as it’s an appointment none of us will be spared, I learned that it is perhaps easier to contemplate the prospect of one’s own death than the death of a loved one. Always easier to leave than to be left behind…

For days after PohPoh’s death, I find myself constantly wondering about where she is. I believe in the immortality of our souls but where exactly do our souls “go” after death? Where is PohPoh now? While my biblical worldview leads me to believe in some certainties surrounding life and death, there is still so much about death that we do not comprehend till when it’s finally our turn.

Meanwhile, the lessons I’ve learnt the last few weeks starting from my mom’s accident in December is that we should never ever take our relationship with loved ones for granted as our finiteness deems us ignorant of when death should come knocking.

New man in our life!

As I’m writing this, the new love of my life is sleeping peacefully next to me oblivious to the tropical heat and the traffic noise downstairs. Little Craig Chan Thomas was born on February 10, 2009 at 8:29am. At birth he weighed 2.95 kgs (6.5 lbs) and measured 51 cm long (20 inches).

Craig’s due date was not till February 20 but at the doctor’s appointment on February 9, she informed us that my blood pressure was elevating and was at risk for pre-eclampsia. Inexplicably, I had also lost a kilogram over a week. When the doctor finally checked for dilation, she noticed that the structure of my pelvic bone would entail a very long and difficult natural birth. In fact, she may end up doing a Caesarean-section on me after all. Having considered all factors, Brian and I decided that it would be safest for both the baby and me to go through a C-Sect birth. I was, surprisingly, disappointed as I was all geared up for a natural birth though I had initially planned for an elective C-Sect. Oh well…

So, at 7am on February 10, I was wheeled into the Operation Theatre and less than 2 hours later I met the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen! He’s SO precious! One cannot imagine loving someone so intensely though you hardly know him until one becomes a parent! I’ve never seen Brian smile so much endlessly! It was like when we both first fell in love!

It’s amazing – a new life is truly a miracle as we observe his little fingers, toes and all – he’s a full person but just little! But so helpless and dependent! Looking at Craig’s present state of existence draws my mind to the humbling fact that God trusted humanity so much that the person of Christ came to earth first in the form of a helpless baby! God could have come in so many other more glorious ways but he chose to come through the birth canal of a peasant woman! How awesome!

More posts on parenthood and sleepless nights soon! Meanwhile, let’s just hope that baby Craig will get as much breastmilk as baby Jesus did!

Ushering in the year of the Ox

It's the first day of Chinese/Lunar New Year today where Chinese all over the world ushered in the year of the Ox and bade farewell to the year of the Rat. The New Year celebration is typically a family affair - family members would travel miles just to eat the reunion dinner together on the eve of the New Year. This has been the case for us the past few years but as we're restricted in our traveling by our advanced pregnancy this year, we stayed back in Singapore and planned on having Mickey D for a few days (as most local eateries would be closed for a few days here).  Thankfully, a kind souled friend invited us to her family's reunion dinner. As her brother is a chef, we were treated to a wonderful feast of Cantonese cuisine.

With the passing of the baton from the Rat to the Ox, it will also mean that our little boy will be born in the year of the Ox and hence, an Ox (Brian is a Rooster while I'm a Monkey). Brian was earlier a little concerned that he'd be born early and end up as a Rat. Not that he buys into any of the superstitions about these Zodiac animals but it just doesn't sound right to be a Rat! 

The next few weeks will see us anxiously anticipating the birth of Craig... it's so exciting and scary at the same time. Meanwhile, I've been working from home and will do so till I deliver.  

Mandarin oranges are commonly exchanged and served during the Chinese New Year celebration as the Chinese name for the oranges, "kum," sounds like the word for gold. Hence, it's good luck to exchange "gold"! 

Baby shower II

Ladies at our church gave us a baby shower last Saturday. It was a lot of fun as some of the mothers recall their experiences with labor and birth. As always, no meeting is complete without the accompaniment of some good food. From apple crumble to Cantonese glutinous rice, there was plenty of food for everyone.

Apart from the sea of words of wisdom (and warning!) from the ladies, they also presented us with a baby crib and a changing table plus a few other cute baby necessities. Thank you, dear friends, for your love!

A humorous moment (Pix credit: Lisa Mok) 

Both of us (the book shelf and I) are all bent out of shape carrying a load beyond us! 

(Pix credit: Lisa Mok)

Running out of space

This week saw me, I'Ching, entering the 34th week of pregnancy. That means, Craig's arrival is drawing very near! As he is going through a growth spurt at this stage, he is also running out of space to move around inside me. I can feel almost every single movement he makes - some more uncomfortable (even painful!) than others! We have found that he is usually more active in the evening and at night - hmmm... Sleep is increasingly elusive for me as I toss and turn for the right and comfortable position.

We finally got the hospital bag ready and for now, we're just marking time! While physically I'm definitely ready, I think both Brian and I are still not quite prepared  mentally and  emotionally. I guess no one can be a 100% ready to be  parent.

Thank you again for all who prayed for my mom. She is doing quite well though it'll be at least nine months before she can walk again. My dad has been quite a trooper in the way he has handled the whole situation and in the manner that he has been taking care of my mom. God is good.  

Mom and dad at Christmas in Kuala Lumpur:

Update on my mom: Healing

It's been almost a week since I had the scare of my life with my mom. She is presently still in the hospital though we expect her to be home by mid-week.  Subsequent to the earlier observation, the doctor also found a hairline fracture on one side of her hipbone and her sternum. There's nothing that the doctor can do for these except for them to heal naturally.

She is still in a lot of pain - her ligaments and muscles are all hurting from the impact of the hit. Physiotherapists have been trying to get her started on physiotherapy but the both times they tried, she blacked out due to the pain. We all know that my mom has a very high threshold for pain - so it must be extremely painful for her to faint from it!

While it will take months before she is mobile again, we are constantly thankful that her life was not threatened. As it was a hit and run incident, there is also no closure to the tragedy and we believe that it's affected her somewhat. We are thankful to all who prayed for her and who have been so concerned. Please continue to pray for a speedy recovery - physically and emotionally.

Update on my mom

It was around 8 pm when my mom called me from her cellphone. She was concerned about my swollen feet and wanted to know if I feel better. As always, she would put everyone else before herself. Fifteen minutes later, I received another call from her cellphone but this time it was a man on the other end. He asked if I knew the owner of the cellphone. I said yes, and he informed me that the person has been in an accident and was unconscious. He asked if he could contact her family members. It was as if a dagger was stabbed into my chest as I gave him my dad's phone number. The Good Samaritan finally contacted my dad and by the time he got to the scene (which was very close to my parents' home), the ambulance was already there.

Being almost 500 kms (300 miles) away only intensified my panic and worry. Brian was out and it was the longest hour as I waited for news on my mom's situation. As my dad was frantic with worry and riding in the ambulance, I was calling my uncle and aunt who are in Ipoh to get an update instead. I felt so helpless being so heavily pregnant and so far away. There was nothing I could do except to pray and remind myself that God is a good God - one who loves, sees all things, cares and is omniscient. 

Soon Brian was home after I informed him of the situation.  We prayed and waited. And waited. By the time my sister arrived in Ipoh (from Kuala Lumpur) at 12:30 midnight, mom had been transferred to a private hospital from the General Hospital (a government hospital). We were finally able to get mom an x-ray and detailed scan to find out her condition by 2am.

We are so thankful that none of her injuries are life threatening. Her right fibula and right toe were broken. Her right arm was dislocated. Her elbows' bone are slightly crushed but other than these are external injuries. As her condition was not life threatening, she was only wheeled in for surgery in the morning at 6:30am. She was out by 9 am and the doctor says that she'll be fine.

As I'm so advanced in my pregnancy, no airline would let me fly to Malaysia and the 8-hour bus ride to Ipoh would be too difficult for me. I long to be with my mom but have been advised to stay put in Singapore. It hurts me so much to know that my mom is in so much pain. I'm praying that she'll find some comfort in the pain management medication and that God will give her peace in her soul as she recovers in the hospital. Knowing my mom, she'll be worrying about me, about my sister and a host of other things except about herself. I hope she'll have the peace to rest and heal. Due to her age, it may be awhile before she is mobile again.

We found out subsequently that it was a hit and run by a speeding motorcycle. We know for a fact that God was watching over her as her injuries could be so much worse than they are. Also, a Good Samaritan who acted so swiftly was truly God-send. As we reflect with much gratitude for God's mercy and goodness, we continue to pray that my mom would recover smoothly and quickly. 

Baby update

We visited the gynecologist today to see how Craig is doing and found that he's doing great. He's big and long compared to an average baby in utero his age. An average baby at 31 weeks weighs around 3.3 lbs (1.3 kgs) but Craig weighs 3.74 lbs (1.7 kgs)! No wonder I feel so heavy! He also has been extremely active moving around inside and often we can see his movements as my belly thumps and swells. Sometimes he punches and kicks so hard it hurts!

Meanwhile, his room is almost ready. The crib and changing table were delivered over the weekend and we're slowly but surely setting up Craig's room. We find it hard to believe that in less than 8 weeks' time, it will be 24/7 - Craig!   

Heavy and tired

I (I'Ching) am glad that the weekend's here. I've been feeling especially heavy the last few days and tire easily from simple tasks. Today, I napped for 15 minutes on the train coming to work! I suspect that this depletion of energy will continue till Craig is done with his mothership.

We have lots to do this weekend. We went shopping for baby's crib and other outstanding stuff last evening. His crib plus changing table will be delivered on Sunday. Hopefully by then we would have gotten our act together in having all his clothes washed and room ready for the furniture. I also need to think about packing my hospital bag...

Meanwhile, today, on my way to lunch, I spotted the following which may tickle you...

If you see something strange in the neighborhood, you'll know who to call:

Chivalry isn't dead, apparently

Pix credit: www.travelblog.org

It's just my observation so far and I could be wrong but I think men are more compassionate to pregnant women than women are! The number of men who gave up their seat for me on the train far surpasses the number of women who did the same. I'm pleased to announce that I did get seat today as a kind man stood up as soon as he saw me board the train.

Bus, trains and automobiles

I (I'Ching) started commuting to work from our new home last week. From a mere stone's throw away, now I live 20 minutes away (by car) from the office. There are three options for me: 1) train (30 mins) followed by bus (15 or so mins); 2) bus all the way (1 hr 20 mins); and, 3) taxi: 20 mins but costs $15 or more one way.

I took option one the whole of last week. It was wonderful the first two days as even though the trains were packed, I got a seat - as I'm pregnant. On trains here, there are a few seats designated "Priority Seat" sort of reserved for the elderly, expectant mothers and parents with young children. I say, "sort of" as there is a sign above those seats that read, "Please be considerate - give up your seat for someone who needs it more." So, this means, the occupant of the seat can decide to not be considerate and not give up his seat. A needy person, like my present-self, has no right per se to ask him to get up. In other words, it all depends on the civic-sense (some call it commonsense but I do question how common that is nowadays!!!) of the seat-occupant.

On the third day of my commute, I boarded the train as usual and moved right up to where the priority seats are. Lo and behold, the two ladies occupying those seats did not give a hoot to the fact that I'm 7-month pregnant and need the seat badly (before my feet bloat to size 15). One gave me a look and continued to enjoy her iPod while the other continued to read. I was tempted to ask them for their seat but I remembered a recent story about how a pregnant woman asked a man for his seat and he shouted at her saying that he has no reason to give her his seat: "Why do you deserve this more than I do?" he asked!!!

So, afraid that I'd be publicly humiliated like that poor woman, I decided to stand till someone else with a seat leaves. Thankfully, a few stops later, one of the two UNKIND ladies left and I took her seat.

The same happened the next morning... So, nowadays, I do not take for granted that I will get a seat on the train just because I am a loadful. Kindness can be so rare in this society...

On a cheerier note, we put up our Charlie Brown Christmas tree last night. We made spiced apple cider, listened to carols, put up the tree and afterwards watched A Charlie Brown Christmas on dvd. A wonderful end to my birthday...